The neighbor lady

After my mom’s death and 32 years of marriage, my dad was extremely sad and afraid of being alone. He dated anyone who would date him. The lack of criteria also meant that the women who rotated in and out only met my dad’s need for companionship. Everything else was out the window. One girlfriend was so bad, maybe the worst, that my brother and I didn’t even call her by her name. Since she lived in an apartment across the street from my dad, we simply referred to her as The Neighbor Lady.

The Neighbor Lady took advantage of my dad, of his kindness and generosity. She interfered with his relationships with his children and had a general disregard for boundaries, especially my brother Liam's.

My brother never moved out of his childhood home, and at the time was living part-time with my dad and part-time with my grandma to help care for her. He was very protective of his space at my dad's and had a very simple rule: Do not go into my bedroom.

One day Liam noticed some things he left in the kitchen ended up in his bedroom. He asked The Neighbor Lady whether she had put those things in his room. She proudly admitted she had when she and her grandchildren popped over at lunchtime. Liam was pissed and re-emphasized his wish for no one to go into his room.

A few days later, my brother’s door was slightly open when he got home from my grandma's. Instantly, he knew The Neighbor Lady had struck again.

Liam didn’t just get mad; he took action. And to be frank, my brother had legitimate concerns. He owned multiple guns and even more long-blade knives. This was not a room that should be entered without extreme caution. The Neighbor Lady should have been much more protective of her grandchildren.

Out of principle, and I suspect some fear that he would be held accountable should something serious happen with the items he harbored in his room, Liam gave The Neighbor Lady another stern warning in front of my dad. But he didn’t stop there. He set a trap. A genius trap.

Liam knew that The Neighbor Lady was never going to change her behavior. She was too stubborn, too nosy, and too determined to discover something that would remove Liam’s access to my dad and his financial support. Before Liam returned to my grandma’s, he cracked open his bedroom door just enough to balance a box of pennies on top of it. And he walked out.

The next afternoon Liam got a frantic call from my dad, “What did you do? What did you do to her?”

Liam knew exactly what he meant and could only laugh.

My dad continued, “You could have hurt her!”

Through the laughter, Liam dryly muttered, “She should be glad it was just pennies.”